🌀 Why, If You’re Living with a Personality Disorder in Tech, You Need The Leadership Leap

“Some storms rage inside of us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn to sail.”

The Misunderstood Storm

When people hear the phrase “personality disorder,” they often think of labels: unstable, cold, manipulative, difficult. These words reduce people to stereotypes. They erase the complexity of real lives.

The truth is more human.

For some, life feels like an emotional rollercoaster, soaring high with praise, crashing with criticism. For others, it means craving connection while fearing rejection so deeply that invisibility feels safer. Some carry empathy so overwhelming it floods them, while others hide it behind achievement and control, shielding fragile self-worth.

None of these patterns are flaws. They are survival strategies. And yet in tech, an industry that prizes logic, precision, and consistency, these storms are often misunderstood. Instead of being seen as humans navigating complexity, people are too often misread as “too much” or “not enough.”

My Lens Into This

My understanding of this doesn’t come from theory. It comes from life.

In both my early childhood and later in adulthood, I had close relationships with loved ones who lived with these storms. My own early trauma and neurology seemed to make me a magnet for them. I could see their core, the tender, brilliant spark of who they were, even when they couldn’t.

That gave me deep compassion. I knew the ache behind their defenses, the fragility behind their control, the loneliness behind their intensity.

But compassion alone was not enough. To survive, I had to learn boundaries. I had to learn to disarm behaviors that drained my energy. And sometimes, I had to make the painful choice to say goodbye to honor my worth even while still caring deeply.

I still carry empathy. I know what it means to be misjudged. I know how heavy it is to live in a world that misunderstands you. And I know that storms don’t erase worth.

That’s why I wrote The Leadership Leap. Not to fix people. But to create language, practices, and spaces where storms can be integrated into leadership, where difference doesn’t mean disqualification.

How It Shows Up in Tech

• Masking to avoid rejection

  
  

  You monitor every word and action so no one calls you “too much” or “not enough.”

  
  

  📖 Chapter 5: Shedding Skin → Helps you drop the mask slowly and embrace authenticity safely.

  
  

• Emotional rollercoasters

  
  

  One comment echoes louder than all your achievements.

  
  

  📖 Chapter 10: Face the Flame → Offers tools to hold intensity without letting it consume you.

  
  

• Craving belonging but fearing abandonment

  
  

  You long for connection while bracing for loss.

  
  

  📖 Chapter 11: The Layers Within → Guides you in creating boundaries that protect both self and relationships.

  
  

• Empathy flooding or hidden behind control

  
  

  You either feel everything at once, or bury it under perfection and achievement.

  
  

  📖 Chapter 12: Fuel for Impact → Shows how to channel empathy into contributions others can recognize and value.

  
  

• Being called “difficult” or “cold”

  
  

  You are judged for your storms, when in truth you are carrying more than most can imagine.

  
  

  📖 Chapter 4: The Cracking Open → Reframes survival patterns and teaches self-compassion.

  
  

• Trapped between structure and suffocation

  
  

  Systems feel safe, until they feel like cages.

  
  

  📖 Chapter 6: Rooted to Thrive → Helps you find rhythms that balance safety with freedom.

  
  

• Silenced by stigma

  
  

  Whether or not you share your diagnosis, you feel misunderstood.

  
  

  📖 Chapter 17: Radical Inclusion → Builds cultures where difference is honored, not erased.

Why This Matters

If you live with a personality disorder and work in tech, you may feel like you’re constantly fighting to be seen beyond the label. You may fear that your storms disqualify you from leadership, from belonging, from being trusted.

But hear this:

You are not broken.

You are not “too much.”

You are human, carrying storms that shaped you, patterns that once kept you safe, and gifts the world desperately needs.

The Leadership Leap is not about erasing storms. It’s about learning how to navigate them. To transform survival into wisdom. To use your empathy, intensity, and resilience not against yourself, but as tools for leading with clarity and heart.

🐉 Your storms are real.

But so is your capacity to sail through them.

And sometimes, what feels like your greatest burden becomes the very strength that shapes how you lead.

📘 Discover The Leadership Leap →