šš„ The Opportunity I Could Have Missed, Not Because I Wasnāt Ready, But Because I Was Becoming More Than One Thing
- Sarah Gruneisen
- Mar 27
- 4 min read
The last months were not a straight line.
They were heavy.
Rejections.
Low energy.
Moments where even writing, thinking, or showing up felt harder than it had in years.
And yetā¦
At the exact same timeā¦
My life wasnāt closing.
It was opening.
Opportunities started landing.
Not one.
Many.
And suddenly, I wasnāt standing in front of a single path.
I was standing in front of three.
A Head of Tech role
A path I had been growing into for years.
Leading from within. Owning a system. Building long-term impact.
A Principal Architect of Digital Transformation Consultant role
Working across systems. Seeing patterns at scale. Shaping transformation across organizations.
And a third pathā¦
The one that had always been quietly there:
š Fully stepping into my own company.
And this one was no longer a dream.
Avagasso was moving.
A fractional CTO role landed at my feet.
Real opportunities. Real income potential. And so much fun!
For the first timeā¦
Not choosing employment wasnāt risky.
It was viable.
And thatās when the real tension started.
Because now the question wasnāt:
āWill something work out?ā
It was:
āWhat do I choose, stability, scale, or sovereignty?ā
And my nervous systemā¦
After months of instabilityā¦
Had a strong opinion about that.
At the same timeā¦
Interviews were happening.
Momentum was building.
And thenā¦
My heart broke. š
On the day I needed to show up the most.
And everything inside me fragmented.
I showed up anyway.
But not as myself.
I held onto structure.
To my script.
To something safe.
And I lost the thing that defines how I lead:
š² presence
š² depth
š² real-time thinking
The feedback reflected it.
And it would be easy to say:
āSo I reached back out.ā
But thatās not what happened.
What actually happened was this:
I broke. āļøāš„
Not just from the interview.
But from everything stacking at once.
Months of rejection.
Emotional exhaustion.
And then heartbreak layered on top.
I didnāt leave that interview thinking strategically.
I left feeling:
āThey didnāt see me.ā
āI didnāt get to be me.ā
And that hurts differently.
Because when you know what youāre capable ofā¦
And you donāt get to express itā¦
It feels like being cut off mid-sentence.
And ā¦ I said things.
Real things.
I told them:
š„ That they made a mistake
š„ That their process didnāt allow people like me to shine
š„ That I hire based on potential, values, and growth, not performance in one moment ā¦ how could they be so resolute on a moment?
Not polished.
Not filtered.
Just true. (At least my truth as I stood there in that room)
And after that?
There was no strategy.
No plan.
Only this quiet acceptance:
āThen itās not for me.ā
Because I had other paths.
Real ones.
The Head of Tech trajectory.
My own company gaining momentum.
A fractional CTO role already in my hands.
I wasnāt chasing anymore.
And maybe thatās the paradox.
Because I didnāt fight to get back in.
They reached back out.
And asked me to give them a second chance.
And that momentā¦
Changed everything.
Because I didnāt come back hoping.
I came back having already let go.
And when youāve let goā¦
You donāt perform.
You show up.
No script.
No over-control.
No trying to āget it right.ā
Just thinking.
Exploring.
Navigating complexity in real time.
In my energy, having fun discussing!
And thatās when they saw me.
Not the version trying to prove.
But the version that actually leads.
Then came the offer.
And againā¦
A decision.
Because having options doesnāt make things easier.
It makes them more honest.
And I knew something deeply:
If I ignore my needs nowā¦
I will pay for it later
Financially.
Energetically.
Emotionally.
So I held.
Even when pressure was applied.
Even when doubt was introduced again.
I didnāt collapse.
šš„
And that is what I am most proud of.
Not the role.
Not the title.
But this:
ā¤ļøāš„ I did not abandon myself in the process.
Old Sarah would have.
Many times.
This version of me didnāt.
And thatās leadership.
Not the title.
Not the offer.
But the ability to stand in front of:
š¤ multiple aligned futures
š¤ emotional pressure
š¤ uncertainty
And still choose from truth.
In May, I will step into:
š Principal Architect of Digital Transformation Consultant
But the other paths?
Theyāre still there.
The Head of Tech path.
The fully independent path.
And something deeper than choosing between themā¦
The way of Agile.
Not as a framework.
But as a way of living.
Trusting that paths donāt always split.
Sometimes they merge.
Sometimes they change shape.
Sometimes they lead you somewhere you didnāt planā¦
But deeply needed.
Like the mazes in my book.
You donāt solve them by forcing direction.
You solve them by walking.
šš„
Trust the path you take.
And the journey it takes you on.
š
If you are navigating your own crossroads right nowā¦
Between stability and freedom,
Between certainty and possibility,
Between who youāve been and who youāre becomingā¦
You donāt have to do it alone.
This is exactly the space we explore inside my leadership programs.
Not just frameworks.
But real decisions.
Real tension.
Real alignment.
If that resonatesā¦
Come walk this path with me. šš„
And for my heartā¦
No matter how many times it breaksā¦ š
I refuse to close it.
I refuse to become smaller to feel safer.
I still believe in:
ā¤ļø deep love
ā¤ļø true companionship
ā¤ļø being fully seen and choosing each other anyway
Because the same thing that makes us feel deeplyā¦
Is the same thing that allows us to live fully.
And I am no longer willing to trade one for the other.
šš
Also, congrats on the new role. This is a dream job.
Keeping Avagasso going while doing a full time job is a challenge. However, this is not a new one to you. Remember also that I am here to help. My offer to help do some of the leg and support with still stands.
This really resonates. I have tol that sometimes it is only when I have let go that I am able to show up as my full self and that the ahead reveals itself with clarity.